Your Word is Like a Tummy Rub
You may think I’m making this up. You could be confused and think I’m writing for “The Onion” and that this is a cleverly-disguised spoof to trick my readers (if I have any). But no, this is for real.
Zondervan Publishing has just announced the release this summer of “Playful Puppies Bible.” The hype goes like this:
If you love puppies, you will love this Bible. Inside you will find 12 color pages of adorable puppy photos with inspirational thoughts that will encourage you day after day. The Playful Puppies Bible is just the right size to take along wherever you go. Features include: * Presentation page for gift giving * Ribbon marker * Words of Christ in red * 12 pages of adorable puppy photos, Scripture references, and inspirational thoughts *
When I first came across this, I thought someone was playing a joke on me. But then it became all-too apparent that this is for real. And so, being the practical guy that I am, I began to dream of ways to make this tool more effective for users.
My fertile mind quickly realized that the usefulness of the “Playful Puppies Bible” could be enhanced if there were various response sections after each reading – here are some examples –
BOWL OF FOOD (feed on God’s Word)
PAWS to reflect (meditations)
SCRATCHING AT THE FRONT DOOR (journal thoughts)
BARKING AND YIPPING (prayer)
FIERCE GROWLING (spiritual warfare)
WAGGING YOUR TAIL (having fellowship with other believers)
TUMMY SCRATCHINGS (allowing others to minister to you)
POOPING ON PAPER (giving back to others what you learned)
ON THE LEASH (daily walk of obedience)
And I wondered how the Bible would be different if the saints of old could have read a version like this. Jeremiah could have written, “Your Word is like a tummy rub,” instead of “Your Word is like a hammer that breaks the rocks in pieces.”
The Psalmist could have written, “It is good that I was scratched behind the ears, that I might learn Your Word,” instead of “It is good that I was afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes.”
Or “Your Word is like a bowl of Ken’l Rations and an dirty sock to gnaw on,” instead of “Your Word is like a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”
Jesus could have said, “If you retrieve that stick and bring it back to me, then are you my disciples indeed,” instead of “If you remain in my Word, then you are my disciples indeed.”
All of this is a bit mystifying, I think. If there is a Kingdom-advancing advantage to having a Bible with adorable puppy photos, it eludes me. In fact, it seems like one more of those things that American Christianity does that sabotages the hard-edged Great Commission, wartime lifestyle mentality so essential for the advance of the Gospel.
Somehow “The devil roams around like a junkyard dog wanting to be the alpha male. But you resist him by licking him all over and rolling on your back to bare your throat in submission…” doesn’t pack the wallop that Peter’s advice does: “Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith…”
I wonder if people who spend time in the “Playful Puppies Bible” will gain the fortitude to follow Jesus in the hard times, will be willing to forsake all to follow him, and will acquire the resolve to lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel.
— Dave Shive, June 2012